If I had known a miracle was in my future, I wouldn't have run errands that afternoon and missed the first half of it.
But then, I think the miracle occurred expressly because I wasn't there.
Just two days earlier, we'd had a family home evening about what our language choices say about our character and why swearing is a useless waste of energy. That night, children mentioned the quantity of swearing on the middle and high school busses was disturbing; and we'd agreed to let them take their mp3 players on the bus so they could drown out the language with appropriate music. That worked well, and allowed them to tune out, almost literally, anyone whose choice of words or topics were inappropriate.
The miracle started with a stressful situation. The Wednesday afternoon following that family discussion, 6th grade Daughter #3 sat in the back of the bus on the way home from school and settled in to read her book. A couple of 8th graders decided that they didn't want her there. They rudely insisted that she leave; and when D3 wouldn't (she was breaking no rules), they escalated to swearing at her. Brave Daughter #2 had D3's back; and when telling the bullies to knock it off didn't work, D2 tried to enlist the help of the bus driver. He flatly refused both to intervene and to enforce the school system's no-swearing on busses rule. No one else came to their aid and the bullies spent the rest of the 15 minute ride in my girls' faces, cursing them out with every filthy word at their command. Not the kind of thing that mp3 players are able to drown out. You can imagine the state they were in when they arrived home.
And, I'm not there.
Now...the first part of the miracle is that D3 didn't lose her temper and injure anyone on the bus. That still amazes me. She's all about justice; and the unjustness of that situation should have pushed every last one of her buttons. When that happens D3 always "Hulks out". She WILL make you stop and you ARE going to get hurt in the process. We've been working to teach her strategies to calm her inner Hulk for years. But, the patience and self-control she pulled from within herself that day was beyond anything she'd yet demonstrated. It had to have been divinely orchestrated.
The rest of the miracle came at the hands of Daughter #1, who put down her video game controller when her sobbing sisters came through the front door and took it upon herself to let them pour out their feelings and comfort them. Now, lest you imagine idyllic scenes of hugs and crying on shoulders, know that the 'comfort' that D1 offered came in the form of letting them vent, getting angry for them and solemnly promising that next year when those 8th graders are freshmen she (then a lofty senior) would make them rue the day they tormented her sisters.
(Yes, yes. I know... I made her revoke that promise later. Don't spoil my miracle.)
But that was all it took. By the time I arrived home 30 minutes later they were diligently working on homework and all that remained were the red noses and puffy eyes. (Enough to alert my mother-radar to a problem and make them give me the details as well.) D2 and D3 filled me in, but then assured me: "We're fine. Tara took care of it." And as I looked into their eyes, I knew they sincerely meant it. They were at peace.
Cue the arrival of the afore mentioned rainbows, birds and heavenly choirs. And then, there was even... a group hug... during which nobody protested. My heart overflowed with joy and Peace reigned until supper-time 90 minutes later (when someone complained about the menu and bickering ensued).
Even though the girls said they were fine, I immediately took official steps to report the incident to the appropriate staff voice mailboxes and ask, at the very least, that the no swearing rule be enforced. The final part of the miracle appeared the next day when D3's school counselor called to say that she'd received my message, spoken with D3, and reported the driver to the bus system director (she didn't have access to the 8th graders, who attend a different campus, but D2's counselor took care of them). D3's counselor not only listened to my daughter, she took notes and asked questions! She managed to painstakingly extract the same level of detail that I can pull out of D3. In my 11 years of experience across school districts in two states, I've never before met another adult who can pull information out of my children like I can and who takes the time to do so. Wow!
The girls know they can count on each other in a crisis. I know they are capable of great fortitude; and there is at least one staff member at the middle school level who really cares and acts. So, God IS in His heaven, working out all things for our good even if it doesn't look like it at the time.
The drawing below is one that D1 did for D2 last year when some classmates were giving her a really hard time. Just to show you a sample of the mixture of inappropriate fierocity and gentle understanding that is my lovely D1. This drawing and the sentiment behind it meant the world to my wonderful D2.
Anna, this is so sweet. I totally understand the miracle that happened that day. It's so hard to see the miracles as we muddle through life sometimes. But it sure does the heart good when we see them. Thanks for sharing!
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